On Earth and In Heaven Today

Today we welcomed Noah into this world and sent him to heaven to be an angel.  What a bittersweet day it has been.  We feel blessed to know that our precious baby is being taken care of by the GREATEST Father there is.  As much as Dan and I wanted to be great parents, we know that God will be able to teach him far better than we could ever imagine.  We serve an AMAZING God who in the midst of our pain allows us to be angry.  He allows us to be upset.  He allows us to question.  Yet in the end, His comforting presence surrounds us and gives us peace.  So, as we mourn and grieve we know that it is okay, and we know that God will carry us through.

Thanks to all of you that prayed for us.  While we were at the hospital, we felt moments of peace and comfort.  We could feel the love of all of you lifting us up.  We knew so many of you were praying for us.  Your postings meant so much and encouraged us along the way.  

As hard as it was to hold our precious baby, it was also the greatest memory Dan and I hold onto now.  We already miss him dearly and wish we could again be holding him.  We didn't want to let go.  Our pastor said it best when he told us the amazing part was that Noah was not only being held by us on earth, but he was also being held in heaven.  Only with God is this possible.  So since Noah is no longer being held on earth, we are glad that he is being held in heaven and being welcomed by those we know that are already there.

Leaving the hospital was so painful.  The only way out was past the nursery.  So while the other families got to leave with their precious bundles of joy, Dan and I got to leave holding a teddy bear given to us by the hospital.  It was pure torture.  This was followed by having to get into the car and leaving.  I so longed to snap a car seat into the back and leave the hospital as a family.   Then, to arrive home knowing that it was just Dan and I.  It was the loneliest we have ever felt.  It hurts so much knowing that Dan and I are alone in the house.  As we sit together speechless, we cry tears of sadness and tears of joy.  We hold onto the precious memories we have.  

As difficult as it was to know that this was going to happen, Dan and I are grateful that we were able to treasure and make the most of the past 4 weeks.  The days and moments ahead are going to be taken one step at a time.  With God carrying us through, we know that someday soon we will see Noah again in heaven.  We will spend an eternity with him celebrating and singing praises to our God.  As we face these dark times, please pray for peace and guidance.  Pray that our faith stays strong and that we hold each other up in the hardest of times.  Thanks again for supporting us through our journey.  Your love and support means so much to us.