Today we celebrate the 1/2 way point in our pregnancy. It is hard to believe our little New Year's Eve baby will be joining us in just another 20 weeks (or so).
Tuesday we have an ultrasound. We are so anxious to get a little peek at our little one. I will be honest, we (more specifically me) are also terrified. We are trusting the Lord and praying for a healthy little one.
Will we find out boy or girl? Who knows yet. We were set in stone that we wouldn't find out. However, if you know Dan... you know he can't wait for surprises. He is the kind of guy who when he buys a present, he'll give it to you right away, even if your birthday isn't for another month. If we don't find out this ultrasound, we will be able to find out in future ultrasounds. I think Dan wants to know because he is watching me slowly fill the closet with little pink and blue clothes. His thinking is... if we know, then we will only be spending 1/2 as much. Little does he know, there will be a whole lot more shopping and planning happening if we know the gender. I SO need the school year to begin so I can't find anymore cute things.
A healthy baby is all we pray for, boy or girl we will love them equally. However, I (and many others) have a STRONG feeling it is a little girl. Oh how Dan's heart will melt. He will try to be so tough, but I know he will melt like butter.
The past 20 weeks have been filled with fear and excitement. I never thought I would be so happy to be throwing up all the time. To me it was just a reminder that all was well in the womb, and I took comfort in all the symptoms I had...even when they weren't the most enjoyable. During the 1st trimester, I was blessed to be barfing. I was dysfunctionally drowsy and having insane intervals of insomnia. Through it all, I graciously grazed on several sleeves of saltines to soften a sour stomach, and I always knew where the nearest trash bin or toilet was. During this time, Dan became VERY strong and faced his worst fears...someone else's puke. As we entered the 2nd trimester, these symptoms subsided which left me fearful and anxious. I held tight to the hellacious heartburn and prayed we would begin feeling movement soon. Around 17 weeks, I started noticing little bubbles in my stomach. Thinking it was just a little flatulence, I didn't think too much of it...until it continued. Now at 20 weeks, I have regular 5 AM dance parties going on in my tummy. It is so good to know the baby is already developing an early morning routine. Last night the little Kung Fu Fighter was going crazy and Dan actually got to feel a little kick. It is so great to see the overwhelming joy on Dan's face when he gets to experience this. The sparkle in his eyes and the awe struck smile on his face are priceless.
Dan is more than excited for the new year to come. He is hoping to have the first baby on 1/1/11. I on the other hand have a feeling it will be much later than that and think our little one will be sharing a birthday on the 6th with my nephew Eli (no worries E, we won't forget to still spoil you).
As we move forward with excitement and fear, we trust in the Lord and lean not on our own understandings. Though our year has been filled with many emotions, we know that soon we will be holding our precious little gift from above. Our hearts will not replace our precious little Noah, but grow larger and full of more love than we could ever imagine.
