Getting Away

Today is Tuesday, our most dreaded day of the week.  It marks so many emotional moments.  Our week has felt like one giant roller coaster of emotions.  The dive into sadness happens in an instant, followed by a surreal peacefulness.  Just one week ago, we stopped hearing the precious little heartbeat we always anxiously awaited to hear.  Our hearts are aching and we so long to hold our little boy.  We are missing him with every beat of our own hearts.  Everything around us brings on reminders.  From the clothes in my closet that don't seem to fit like they did a week ago, to Dan wrapping his arms around me, somehow our thoughts always go to Noah.  We are filled with reminders of the things we will miss out on...rocking him to sleep, golfing with Dan, long walks with Tucker, the list could go on.  We wake up in the stillness of the night wishing the silence were broken by the screaming of a baby.  

Time is needed to heal our brokenness and strengthen our spirits.   Being home is too hard, too many painful decisions and too many painful reminders.  Dan and I have decided to head back up north for a few days to get away and begin the healing process.  We hope to find some peace and comfort while being gone.  We hope to gain some strength in our time together.